Two Black Sheep
by LazyDreams
Summary: Haven't you ever wanted a chance at a clean slate; to just start everything over and get a second chance at life? And what would you do once you were presented with that chance? Would you savor it, or would you waste it on one fleeting moment of sweet, blissful, ecstasy?


Haven't you ever wanted a chance at a clean slate; to just start everything over and get a second chance at _life_? And what would you do once you were presented with that chance? Would you savor it, or would you waste it on one fleeting moment of sweet, blissful, _ecstasy_?

"Remember Remus, make friends, but don't get too close. Remember… remember how _they_ treated you."

"But don't distance yourself too much," His mother fussed over the smudge on his cheek. "Right _dear_?" She snapped at her husband.

Lyall reached over and grasped his sons shoulder. "Yes, but don't get too attached. No girlfriends." The glint in his father's eye gave Remus a different impression.

-CH1-

"What else could possibly go wrong?" He muttered under his breath, the feeling of dread and anger slowly filling his gut. The thundering engine sprang from its homebase; Kings Cross Station, platform 9 ¾. It was building up speed steadily as it sailed down the tracks.

Remus Lupin took one miserable glance outside his cabin window and lazily returned his attention to his weathered book.

Remus Lupin was a boy who lived many lives, a boy who wore many masks. Each life was markedly more dangerous and disastrous than the last, but how could that possibly be? _What else could go wrong?_ He unfortunately found himself thinking this all too often. Things would seemingly go his way for a while, calm and collected, then BAM. Out of nowhere, with absolutely no forewarning the universe would bite back, almost reminding him to be grateful that his life had been manageable up to that point. It didn't take him long to realize that each new life thrust upon him would lead to a quick and early retirement to his grave. His doomed fate always hung like a grey cloud over his head, never hidden from sight, never leaving his mind. His depression and nervousness stemmed from this single irrevocable thought; _What else could possibly go wrong?_

So when he finally received his letter from Hogwarts, Remus Lupin was certain that his guardian angels had granted him a new lease on life. It was a fresh start. Didn't get any plainer or simpler than that. There would be thousands of opportunities, and his head swam in the ocean of endless possibilities… however, as excited as the boy was to begin his wizardry career, he couldn't help but feel a tinge of uneasiness about this unknown world. _This will be too good to be true. It's always too good to be true…_

But this was his destiny after all. " _Everything happens for a reason."_ He heard his father remind him, although it offered little comfort at this time. He breathed in deeply; everything would be alright. It had to be. _But what if it isn't?_

Hogwarts; new school, new people… what more could he ask for? This was literally a symbol of his personal, _tabula rasa_. Doesn't he, like any other first year, deserve to take this time to recreate himself in the image of whatsoever he pleased?

As soon as Remus Lupin began rereading the second chapter, his stomach gave another lurch and his neck became tight and painful to move. Sweat beaded down his neck as a shrill voice echoed down the corridor and boomed loudly in his cabin. "Did you see her _hair_?"

Reeking with disgust another high-pitched voice replied, "What the bloody hell do you call that style?"

"It's called the _magical mudblood._ " The first voice sneered.

As the conversation became rapid and animated, the blood began to run cold through his veins. His chest tightened and eyes focused on the crack at the door as the cackling escalated.

"Mudbloods, guh, they should all get hanged!" The first girl griped.

"Jeezus Mary, what's the matter, muggleborn take a nip at you over the holiday?"

Laughing girlishly, "I'm just saying they don't belong with us, they just drew a lucky straw didn't they? They don't deserve to be here with us."

"Yeah, they're a danger to themselves and to everyone around them." The other concluded. Lupin could almost picture the two nasty girls together, proudly gossiping and bullying the others in their cabin to agree with whatever they had to say.

 _Maybe that's why none of these compartments were taken._ He sighed and let his stomach rumble with nerves. it was slowly gnawing away at his organs, which in turn were slowly eroding from the inside out; he needed to vomit. To just run out of the room and drown himself in an ice cold shower.

 _Relax, just because they have a problem with muggleborns doesn't mean they'll have a problem with you._

Then he laughed because he knew. He knew what people thought of _monsters_ like him. Of everything that encompassed his fibers. He was a monster. A nightmareish miscreation of a man. His breath caught in his throat and he choked out an uncomfortable cough. His head was pounding and thought after terrible thought intruded his stream of consciousness.

Bloody images of tattered mounds of mud and fur swam clearly before his mind's eye. Some of the heaps had been set on fire, and he could smell the singed fur as if it were right under his nose. His eyes watered as he imagined himself slung up by his paws and being skinned alive by mobs of angry villagers.

"Hey, this seat taken?" A low grumbled voice rocked him out of his delusions long enough for him to notice a student standing in front of him. He was bouncing foot to foot, as if ready to split at a moment's notice. His shaggy black hair hung haphazardly in front of his eyes, just a about an inch or two too long to be considerably _neat_. But his eyes, a deep mahogany, mesmerized Remus, wishing he could spend more time staring into the depths of these eyes. A warmness was being emitted from this person just based on this first encounter. _This feels… safe..?_

Quickly drawn back to reality Remus blustered out, "Uh-no all yours!" The newcomer regarded him for a minute before deciding to take a seat across from him and watch the countryside zoom by.

If he didn't know any better, Remus would've guessed this person was very popular and easy to befriend. He would surely have plenty of friends, all sorts too… definitely a popular student at school. _So why's he sitting here?_

"So what're you in for?" The shaggy boy asked resting his head on the hand.

"Uh, what was that?" The sheer bluntness took Remus by surprise and he had no idea what the kid meant by this. Thoughts began streaming through his mind; wasn't this the Hogwarts Express or was it a train to Azkaban? What would he possibly tell the gaurds when he got there? His head was rolling with the possibilities that this simple question imposed and his breathing hastened. The carriage started to get foggy as the boy next to him shifted anxiously in his seat.

 _How had they found out about me being a-_

"Hey, you okay? What's up, first time going to Hogwarts or something? It's my first year too, I'm James, James Potter." He stuck his hand out confidently attempting to console the panic-stricken boy. Remus grabbed the extended hand with his own clammy paw and muttered his name in response.

"Remus, Lupin."

"You don't look so good- " Remus hid his embarrassment with a nervous laugh and scratched the back of his head. As he opened his mouth to respond, the door burst open, practically being ripped off by the hinges.

"AH, here he is, James!" An equally shaggy looking man a foot taller than James waltzed jovially holding his arms out wide.

"Sirius!"James practically shouted as he jumped up to embrace this newcomer.

The two gave a quick hug and Remus was forgotten almost completely. It was for the best, Remus decided. These two were obviously friends who'd missed each other greatly.

The rest of the train ride went as uneventful as he'd secretly hoped it would. The two just talked with each other, coming and going as they pleased. Remus wasn't too upset by that at all, he found it kind of comforting in a sick way, and reminded him of his home... _always the outcast it seems. Yes, I do believe I'll be able to fly under the radar at Hogwarts._


End file.
